I walked into the kitchen the other night and opened a cupboard door to be greeted by a funny smell. Looked around the tins of beans and mackerel and other stuff but not spotting anything out of the ordinary I carried on.

Till I get home yesterday and my Father asked me to get him an egg while smirking. Oh he’s a prankster!

I open the same cupboard and open up the box of eggs to see one has cracked.

‘Oh very funny Dad’ I think.

Only to see that there is nothing leaking out. Looking closer I see that the membrane hasn’t cracked, and looking in side there is the tip of a little beak.

So we took it back to the supermarket only for the staff to get grossed out and to tell us to grab another box. One comment that did strike home was that these were definitely free range chicken eggs then as barn chickens don’t get room to move around let alone mate!

But the fact remains that after being seriously grossed out by a rotting chicken foetus and I’m not wanting to crack open an egg for a looooong time.

So my best friend and I spent a hot summers afternoon cruising around our old haunts in Knightsbridge and Kensington….and we were greeted with a visual feast of supercars. They all had Qatari plates and were simply driving around the block repeatedly…apologies for the poor quality of some of the pics, but I think you’ll get the idea.

My fave is the black LP640 with the pink interior. It had a matt black paint finish with gloss black rims. An absolute stunner.

So I got back from a brief break in Desh enjoying temperatures of 30-32 deg only to come back to the UK to find temperatures of 28-30 deg!

Its not gonna last and as the wife and kids are still out in Desh…my weekends are going to be spent out in the sun doing non-kiddy things!! Woohoo!

Recently there was a program on the BBC called ‘Snog, Marry or Avoid?’. This was billed as the world’s first “make-under” show. Thankfully I managed to avoid this, but the premise was that some extremely made up women (Google Jodie Marsh, but be prepared for a bit of potentially NSFW content) and to remove the make up and make them look natural.

On the train this morning a suitably under-made up lady, pushed me out of the way as she smugly occupied the last seat left. Disgruntled I was until the brushes came out. And the pencils, mirrors, hair straighteners* and all the other paraphernalia.

So deftly did she stroke the brush across her cheeks. Her lips took on an alluring pout in a lovely shade of burnt red. Her eyelashes grew to luscious lengths. And then the train jerked and she poked herself in the eye.

Like I said. I had to laugh.

*Ok, maybe not the straighteners.

Wife and I were in a local branch of Next last week. As I wondered up to the top floor (Ting! Menswear and Home) there was a little boy of around 2 years old crying for his Mum.

As i noticed him, My wife came upstairs and I said to her to try and find the mum. In the meantime, the little fella was trying to go down the up escalator.

Aaaagh! What do I do??

I grabbed him and pulled him back and another guy used the emergency stop on the escalator.

By then a uniformed member of staff arrived and they took over and took the boy downstairs to his Mum (apparently clueless he was missing, but that’s a whole different story).

So here’s a thought. What would you do? In this day and age of the media exposure of paedophiles and missing children, would you dare touch someone else’s kid? What is worrying to me is that my gut instinct, which was to help the child, was then subdued by the fear of others thinking wrongly.

Canada seems to be having a problem at the moment although it is happening all over the world.

Severed feet seem to be appearing on shorelines all over the world and it is getting worrying.

My favourite comment by a Curtis Ebbesmeyer, a Flotsam Expert, said he gets calls about body parts floating in the water "all the time. It’s not unusual. What’s unusual is that there are four right feet and one left foot."

Like what on earth? Is there a global serial killer on the loose? Are sharks traveling further and closer to humans that we thought…or simply are people trying to walk on water?

So much has happened since Valentine’s day!

We received delivery of our second child in the first week of March. A bouncing baby boy who insists on throwing up on Dad’s suit every morning. Ammar was a bit early, but he’s progressed hugely over the last 3 months and we are finally seeming to get some sleep! Ruqaiiya loves him to bits and insists that squashing him is a sign of affection. Except when Papa does it to her.

Work has been hectic. That should be enough said about that.

Ruqaiiya has turned 4 and we went to her new school last night for an open evening. She will be starting there in September and was very excited to meet her new class teacher.

And we are going to Desh in a couple of weeks time for my sister-in-law’s wedding. So the last few weeks/months have been dedicated to shopping, shopping and more shopping. It better be worth it.

Whatever. I love my wife. Just not on this day of the year.

After a long and heated debate (about 2 second) we have decided that we would not be indulging in any placentophagy. Whether sauteed, grilled, or even chopped and made into a curry.

Why have I thought of this? I remember being asked if we wanted after our daughter’s birth. I wondered why they were asking, but was a little afraid to ask. Now I know why. What’s wrong with a bit of chicken? Or even a nice steak. Or if you’re veggie, just some nice broccoli with chilli and spring onions….oh no… We need to eat each other’s bits. Yeugh!